The past month had all the makings of a happy season, at least on the surface. My elderly mother found a new place to live — a safe place where she’d make new friends and have access to services she needs.
Mom was excited about her new beginning, and yet at times I had a slight heaviness in my heart that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Have you, too, experienced sadness or sorrow, and you honestly don’t know why?
As we were carrying yet another box into Mom’s new apartment, my sister stopped me in the hall. “I’ve been having a hard time. Mom’s house is my last connection to Dad,” she revealed.
So that’s what it was.
Our family lost our dad to cancer over 20 years ago. Yet as we sorted and packed Mom’s home, donating Dad’s belongings had dredged up new feelings of sorrow that I hadn’t even spotted.
Thankfully, my sister pointed this out, helping me identify the source of my sadness. She shared that a past counselor taught her to slow down, ask herself what she was feeling and try to identify the source of those feelings.
Sometimes, on our own, we just don’t know why we feel what we feel. Our body says we’re sad, and we don’t know why. At those times, we may be blessed to have a sibling, a spouse or a sister in the body of Christ who can help us identify the source. We may choose to see a counselor who can help us to go deeper in spotting the roots of our pain. Most of all, we can look to the Holy Spirit within us and ask Him to reveal where we need Him to come with Jesus’ healing.
In Isaiah 53, Isaiah prophesies of the Christ who would come, and did come, for our healing.
Isaiah 53:3a describes how Jesus was “despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain” (NIV). While Jesus was on the earth as a human, He experienced the same sufferings we suffer. He was well acquainted with affliction, even the pain of grieving.
As I readied Mom for her move, I thought I was simply fulfilling a responsibility. But my heart and my soul were taking me back in time, remembering. I didn’t recognize grief as it waltzed back into my heart.
Though I was initially unable to pinpoint the source of my sorrow, my body remembered. The tools in Dad’s shed, a random shirt in a dresser drawer, his pencil holder from his desk — each created a connection I wasn’t paying attention to. The pain I was feeling meant there was more healing needed.
Jesus died for this grief as well as all types of sorrows. Isaiah 53:4-5 goes on to tell us: “Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows … he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.”
Jesus suffered for the forgiveness of our sins, and He suffered so that we could be whole. It is His desire for us to be healed from our sorrows. He wants us to experience “life, and have it in its fullest” (John 10:10b, CEV).
While there may be parts of our lives that we don’t fully understand, Jesus understands us fully and wants to heal and restore us completely. Whether our pain is something from days long gone or a fresh wound that happened yesterday, He is ready to bring peace and healing to our minds and our souls.
Jesus, I don’t even know the source of some of my sorrows, but You do. You knew me even as I was being formed. Come with Your healing. Restore my heart, soul and mind that I might fully experience the life You desire for me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
