Struggling to believe God would heal my critically ill child, I tossed and turned all night as worries in my mind grew bigger through a haze of shadowed doubts and prevailing uncertainty.
Throughout life, I'd already had overwhelming seasons of uncertainty. Raised by a single mother, I was uncertain if I'd ever marry. When I married, I prayed and waited with bated breath to conceive children.
Now here I was, a mom, living in the reality of answered prayers — but still uncertain if God would intervene.
I desperately wanted to believe God would restore my child's health. After all, He had miraculously delivered me from impossible challenges before. Yet doubt began to erase my hopes about the future.
When doubt enters our hearts, it can shape our opinions if we don’t dispute it. Our opinions inform our beliefs, and our beliefs determine our actions.
Thankfully there’s hope in scriptures like Mark 9:14-29, which tells the story of a parent who, like me, struggled to believe.
This man's son suffered from muteness and life-threatening convulsions caused by a demon. Seeking help for his son, the father went to Jesus’ disciples, but when they couldn’t cast the demon out, uncertainty settled in.
Desperate, the father approached Jesus, saying, “If you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us” (Mark 9:22, ESV). Suspended in the air, the small yet significant two-letter word “if” exposed the father’s wavering faith in Jesus’ ability to heal.
Jesus repeated the father’s words, not to mock but to clarify: “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes” (Mark 9:23, ESV).
With words that echo my own, the father cried, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24).
The father's admission of belief and unbelief is relatable to all of us enduring circumstances that weaken our faith. When we’ve reached the end of ourselves, whether caring for children or aging parents, wrestling with financial debt, walking through marriage difficulties, or facing other personal insecurities, we, too, may cry out to God, I believe; help my unbelief!
For those of us who believe in God yet still have doubtful moments, may these verses remind us that He is willing and waiting for us to acknowledge our struggles honestly, taking our “ifs” to Him. He knows how to ease our fears and wash away our worries. He understands our doubts.
He miraculously healed the demon-possessed son in Mark 9! I’m still waiting for my child's healing, but this story reminds me that God wants us to believe in His power to heal even in our waiting. His answers may take longer than we want and may look different from what we expect, but we know miracles do happen — even if we have to wait.
Dear God, I believe; help me to believe more. You understand my doubts, and You know the “ifs” I’m struggling with today. When uncertainty consumes my heart, help my forgetful mind to remember Your faithfulness in my past, and grow my faith and confidence to trust Your capable hands with my future. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
