”Can I trust this person?” is a big question.
The more we feel pressured, internally or externally, to give a definitive answer, the riskier the outcome seems.
How can I know that someone who has broken my trust is now in a place to be responsible with my trust? It will take time.
The bigger the betrayal, the longer the repair will take.
How can I know if a new person in my life is trustworthy? That will also take time.
How do I know I can trust myself to properly discern trustworthiness when I’ve gotten it wrong before or I've been made to feel “crazy” for asking questions when things didn’t make sense? Again, it will all take time.
But time itself isn’t enough. Building or rebuilding trust requires a combination of three things:
- Time.
- Believable behavior.
- A track record of trustworthiness.
Taking baby steps allows for all three things to happen.
For me, I knew if I was going to be able to reengage with people who had broken my trust in the past, or if I was going to consider a new relationship, it wasn’t going to happen overnight. I also knew if I was going to learn to trust in my ability to have wise discernment and reestablish my confidence in hearing from the Lord, it would need to happen slowly. Isaiah 30:19-21 has been such a comfort for me as I’ve started taking baby steps toward trust:
“People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it’” (NIV).
The principle of these verses is that God does respond to us when we cry out to Him. The “right” and “left” mentioned mean that as long as we stay within the will and command of God, we’re headed in His direction, and we’re going to hear Him. He will guide us. In other words, the goal is to live lives of congruity where our lives line up with God’s Word.
But what about the slowness of this whole trust process? What about how painful it can be to wait to see if someone is trustworthy?
The historical context of these verses gives me great comfort in the face of these understandable questions. Isaiah was addressing the Israelites in a season of waiting. Waiting can be lonely, and at times we can feel defeated. Waiting can also make us feel incredibly anxious when there are so many unknowns.
But remember this: Whenever we are waiting on God, we are actually waiting with God. The fact that the Teacher is behind us brings to mind the nearness of God.
When I asked my friend Dr. Joel Muddamalle about these verses, he said, “The attentive nature of the follower of God who desires to be led by God is important here. The New Testament develops this further with the concept of the Spirit-filled life of believers. We are led by the Holy Spirit based not on our own ambition but the vision and direction of God.” (See Galatians 5:16-25 and John 16:13.)
What if we get it wrong by turning left or right outside of God’s will? When this takes place, God will call out and get us back on track. One of the things often overlooked in today’s key verse is the fact that Isaiah didn’t expect perfection. He assumed there would be moments of error, times when we would go astray — but as long as our hearts are willing to receive correction, we can be sure God will redirect us.
Friend, whatever it looks like for you to take baby steps toward building or rebuilding trust, I pray you cling to the God who is right there with you.
Lord, You know my desire to have close relationships based on truth and goodness. You also see my tendency, because of what I’ve been through, to isolate from the people around me when things look scary and unknown. Help me step forward as the healed version of myself — the one You’re making me into. This feels messy and unpredictable, but I know I can trust You and the ways You are working on me and for me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
