In 2020, I moved halfway across the country to a city I’d never visited. I was in the middle of a divorce and discovered shortly afterward that I was pregnant … six months pregnant.
As I navigated the hardships of life with my new title of “divorced single mom,” so many of my deep-rooted fears began to rise to the surface. Would I ever be enough or have enough? My prayers to God consisted of requests for my basic needs to be met, with an underlying message of, I don’t have the capacity for more than I can handle in my own strength right now, so please keep anything extra to Yourself.
I didn’t realize just how debilitating this was to my ability to walk in the fullness God had for me — until He began speaking to me through Ephesians 3:20. This scripture promises God will provide abundantly if we fully surrender to His plan, willing to rely on His strength and to allow ourselves to be used by Him.
“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us …” (Ephesians 3:20).
One morning during my prayer time, I felt God impress this upon my heart:
You’ve been praying for just enough to get by. Why aren’t you believing for more or praying for an abundance to give others? Don’t you want to be a vessel for Me to flow through you? Don’t you trust that I’ll provide?
Convicted, I fell on my knees, crying and begging the Lord for forgiveness for my self-centeredness.
It had been easier to limit my beliefs about what God could do — thinking I could accurately predict the future — than to step out of my comfort zone and ask in faith, risking the pain of disappointment again. The comfort of feeling in control, living in my self-fulfilled prophecy of not having or not being enough, felt so much easier than walking by faith, living with such boldness that there could be no logical explanation for the events unfolding in my life except that God was in control.
Have you ever felt this way?
Daring to ask and trust God for abundantly more will result in circumstances beyond what you could imagine. My testimony is confirmation of this. When I least expected it, God reconciled my relationship with my son’s dad, and just three years after our divorce was finalized, we remarried, and we are now expecting a beautiful baby girl!
My challenge for you today, friend, is to recount all the times you’ve experienced God’s faithful provision in the past — and ask Him to reveal if fear of disappointment is keeping you from asking for and receiving the abundance He has for you!
Father, help me believe that Your plans for me are better than I can imagine. Thank You for abundant provision I can trust in, regardless of my circumstances. Please give me strength and boldness to walk in the fullness You have for me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
